30/06/2010 by etiennefish
Okay, so the title above this sentence is mostly misleading (well, except for the poor part). Its not that I don’t have things to do. I have lots of things to do. Lots of things, and lots of ideas, but yet instead, I am full of the weekday borings. Let me explain:
See, right now, I am in one of those financial situations that many people call ‘flat broke,’ and am thus not allowed to partake in the many newly discovered adventures that fun, summertime Geneva is currently waving tauntingly in my face. (I should also point out that this is triply hard when the World Cup is on (i.e. World Cup= exponentially more fun drunk in a pub after work with other drunk pub people)). So basically, what I have been doing during the week lately is hanging out at home. This makes me feel a bit/massively claustrophobic. Fact. I mean, there are many things that I tell myself everyday (while still at work) that I will accomplish in my evening free time. There is the room cleaning to be had (did that today- again– it’ll be messy by Thursday), there is the mass amounts of coursework/studying to get done (failed 3+ days running at that), there is the writing to be done (see last statement), there are the job/uni searches and/or applications to be accomplished (oh, yep, failed at that too), jogging (not even going to attempt an excuse for this one), and about fifty million other tasks that could more than fill my evening hours. The problem is more that after about 10+ hours in front of a computer (I’ve been spending at least an extra hour at work in the evenings to make sure I give some time to the kittens that I have living there) I have no desire to spend any more time at a computer or any other like device. In fact, what little personal motivation and discipline that I can self-squeeze out of me, seems to be succumbing to the evils of global warming and is undergoing extreme bouts of desertification (i.e. its all dried up).
Yeah yeah, basically, I can’t be asked. I mean, no, I can, but as I have no set schedule of tasks, no driving reason to accomplish anything, we-ell other than the necessity of growing up and finding a way to support myself in a useful and moderately satisfying manner, I’m accomplishing nothing. The sun is shining (well not today), it is gorgeous outside (except when it’s grey and disgusting, um, like today), people are happy, the city almost feels vibrant, and yet I am being a shambling lump of a person, wandering aimlessly around the flat in which I live. It’s ridiculous. I’m ridiculous. And I just don’t have to take it.
So, about 90% of the things I would normally do in my evenings cost some degree of money (and in Geneva, there is this phenomenon where everything is exponentially more expensive than anywhere else on the planet, so even cheap things are generally out) and the other 10% would probably end up that way if my iron grip of self control were not firmly in place. So, since my iron grip more closely resembles that of a cute little paw on a fluffy baby bunny rabbit (see end of post for a more detailed description), I don’t know what to do with myself.
Being at home and being productive has never been a particular strength of mine (I know, shocking), so I’m looking for any and all suggestions (and no, I’m not interested in indulging in any more mindless TV, thank you, but I’ve thoroughly tapped out that option). I’m absolutely burning to be creative, but I don’t own the materials to construct any kind of art project, and while I’d love to be spending more hours writing, I prefer to keep my zombie-eye days to a minimum, for my (questionable) sanity’s sake at least. I wish I was currently in a play (no auditions for anything English-y at the moment sadly), or going to dance class every night (sigh. Money, how I hate you), or that I was at least working an extra job so maybe I could do some of those things I’d like to be doing (I fairly sure I still fall under questionable visa-land zone). Basically, I’m feeling a tinge of cabin fever, despite the fact that I’m actually enjoying this city now that it’s summertime.
So, people out there in the far reaches of beyond/the interwebs, this was yet another long-winded, self-indulgent rant, in which I beseech you to offer any suggestions for adventures, project ideas, self-motivation tips, detailed directions to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, or any and all thoughts on where to meet more freaks like me so we can brainstorm together/do silly things with our free time.