You know you’re in Haiti when:

1.    A quick jaunt out for supper turns into 2 hours of waiting for food, and then into eating under a torrential downpour. Which after eating you then have to brave it + a raging river of water/sewage (that was once a dry friendly little street) in order to get home, which soaks you (understatement of the year) in seconds and comes up past your knees. There may also be some walking barefoot in this disgusting mixture of ‘unknown,’ so as to avoid losing your flip flops, while a lot of people laugh at the ‘blonds’ passing by who look like sad little dunked kitty cats slogging their way through the streets. Oh, and you may also inadvertently pick up a stray dog who insists on swimming next to you all the way to your door. You’re legs may also have strange stinging sensations in them until the next morning despite the fact that you scrubbed them über clean in the shower the night before.
2.      When you arrive home soaking wet to also find your house leaking from a million orifices strewn throughout the ceiling (all of which thankfully missed our beds), and so you must then run crazily all over the house searching for buckets to catch as many of the drips/cascading waterfalls as possible.
3.    Someone with a GIGANTIC knife is slitting chicken’s throats outside your front doorstep when you try to leave for work.
4.    When you have to buy a new exorbitantly expensive floor fan every week (you know, to avoid dying of heatstroke/mosquito bites) because they keep selling you shoddy models that only pretend to work until you leave the shop.
5. You have to wear a hoodie in your office because you are afraid to touch the extremely moody air conditioner that only works when it feels like it (and which there is no technician to fix), but when it does work, it creates an arctic blizzard that you must just endure with great stoicism.
6.  A cholera patient from the local prison at the UTC escapes by slitting the tarps near the toilets and running off mostly naked.

Misty day in Seguin